jealous of u

"

U GOT RID OF THE LAME THING
how would u now know that i am disappointed in u for not mentioning the queen brightening up ur day

haah yeah dw. dont be jealous. i guess everyone's insecure in their own way? i mean you may be jealous of my coolness and ability to eat like crazy..and my name. im jealous of u having pat take u places to eat and not eat at restaurants alone. i may be jealous of thy being able to drive. but she may be jealous of my name as well. i guess the grass is always greener on the other side? no one's perfect. humans always strive for something. im striving for success and making it big in the states. I DONT KNOW.
whatever

i demand u be jealous of my name
LOL that shold be ur no.1 thing
anyway do u think jealousy can consume someone? like ive always thought. yeah im a bit jealous of A and B because of their 'wealthy' background, they dont have to worry shit and can make mistakes...but can easily be picked up again but i try not to let that consume me and when i mean 'consume'i mean...think bout it all the time til the point u hate them? it actually happens to a lot of ppl i guess my jealousy of u and thy..is more of admiration (aww ) haha

"

this is my convo with a special someone..when she asked me what i was doing i told her that was gaming and feeling jealous and etc..and then we talked about jealousy..
when she asked can jealousy consume u..i thought about it and i think IT CAN..atm im jealous of T. and its not bcos of games ..LOL its something more..personal to me..haha well i think that if i keep thinking about if i keep getting sad about it if i keep it bottled inside it will eventually 'consume ' me ..but hating t..i dont know a bit extreme but it might happen one day.. maybe not HATE but.. not like..
envy jealous ..whats the difference? ..
i know for sure thatll ill always be jealous of the queen.. she has everything yay going for her ..besides the fact that she is a bit crazy when it comes to her monthly timetable which includes what she eats everyday ..but yeh shes so..i dont know the word..but all i know is that i wish I WISH i had half her personality and brain..sigh


what can i do ..